It's still your voice in my head & I hope it's still in your heart.

Truth is, I am missing you terribly but I bite back my tongue because I don't want to struggle with how I feel everytime I see you. No, it's not pride, but I wish you were here to get through my exams with me over the next 2 months. There's so much I can say but every night I go to sleep wishing so much to hopefully, see you the next morning and know that you'd be here to stay.

It is only after a fall that I am strongest, but when I think back upon what happened last year at this very period of time, surely I won't let history repeat itself?
I don't tread through the same path I tripped along twice, but now is an exception. I'm wearing better shoes, trying to be more careful , but lately I just don't feel like watching where I'm walking.

Here's a big apology to my regulars, including Boss(Haha I know you come here sometimes) for my extremely lack-of-life entries. Not in an emo state but more of wanting to transit into Medidation mode. Hiatus here I come... :(

41 more days.

still am missing you

I guess we would have to walk a mile
in each other's shoe, at least,
What size you wear? I wear tens,
Let's see if you can fit your feet.

With the exception of GP, it's 2 down and 6 more papers to go. Let's not talk about Math cos my chances of passing are once again, Anorexic. Yes... that's how slim the odds are. My only moment of glory came only after about 15minutes when I managed to solve a 6mark Maclaurin's question, though whether I'll get awarded full credit for it or not is Another issue altogether. Biology today and I kinda had to rush through, But this means I didn't spend much time looking out the window, watching birds, or imagining little stick people having fun on the playgrounds of diagrams in the paper. And this I'm glad to say, indicates that I squeezed out More than usual to fill the blanks, so I hope all that frustrating correction taping and waiting for the stinky white puddles to dry in order to write down a Slightly more perfect answer will be worth it. I think if I hit a 30 something out of 100, it'll suffice in putting a grin on my face cos my highest was only like, 20 plus? Sometimes it's amusing when I wonder how I made it to JC. There're still Papers 1&3 to conquer so I can probably put more effort into studying them and maybe, Just Maybe, Pass Biology this time? :>

Time to study for Chemistry Paper 3! Though I'm incredibly tired the only thing in my mind now is ...................................... You don't know, do you?
I miss my friends alot :(

A week has flown by swiftly and my academic progress still shows Maximum peaks of Minumum effort put into studying. How? I'v been thinking too much about somebody and trips down Memory Lane which I now fight quadruply hard to evade(of course, to no avail) are wreaking havoc and sucking this damn life out of me!!>:( It's out to make me look like some lovelorn fool I know, but there's really no way I can get around this bend.

I think I'm gonna bloody screw up my A'Lvls.

Maybe I Really do have a problem with committment, either that or my desperation for consistency clings on like baby chimpanzees yet to wean off their mothers. Once I settle on a feeling, the exigency for it stick to me like a loyal canine is already played out in my cards. I still want a time machine, but earlier today I wanted Out.

They make me feel like I'll never find someone who'd feel as passionately as you did towards me. They tug at my heartstrings and still make me cry, how so?
cos' Your ears, when they listen to my voice, follow me.
Your eyes when they take me in, hold me.
Your voice, when it comforts me, feels me.
Your heart, when it sees me at my worst, loves me.
I miss you so, so very much.
I really wish you are back here with me.

This September bleedout is killin' me. Hopes of attempting to turn in earlier to sleep these cramps away are dashed because the purpose of doing so is defeated when the same pain is keeping me wide awake. I really detest this bloody hassle of a period(pun greatly intended).

If things are the way I assume they are, my heart should rightfully and probably go out to you, given how I live with my warped perceptions that infidelity without a doubt, smacks hard across human nature. But as far as this goes, the walls have ears while people talk and I scorn the proclamations of passion of various forms hurled in specific directions you artfully pick out. If Scorpios are vengeful by nature I must be a Leo with pincers because I Simply Hate Everything you've made me become, as well as the only other factor which threw itself into the sea and allowed to be swept along with the current.

Sunday & Saturday
On a lighter note, I finally got my haircut. Still a mess, but less of a disaster. I hope I'll be able to thrive on a newly acquired status of More than friends taken up another notch.





Fatigue can one day drive the sanest to scaling the tallest mountains. WHY The Hell am I still feeling this way???? My brain is bursting with food for thought, so full.

I'll see if it holds,
At some point, the night will speak for itself,
This is for the whole world to see as I race with time.

It's problematic when you're stuck with someone with issues and it's no better off when she has the greatest addiction of texting 6pages long essays like bullets rattling of a machine gun. It pleases her so much to annoy and upset you till you shout and resort to forces no gentleman should, and would slap you in the face a trillion times with the past she simply adores bringing up just to hear more shouts(maybe this time into a pillow) accompanied with tiffs and the endless tirade of complaints over the phone, but she doesn't care cos she knows there's no way to turn down a Boy with lightsticks and so much more.

This is 13140000seconds, 525600minutes, 8760hours, 365days, 1 year for you regardless of whether we've been countries apart, quarrelling or laughing at each other, sleeping or awake, dreaming or quarrelling, whether You Like it Or Not. I hope you Enjoyed it, Breathed it and Loved it with Every bit of your life as much as I did, Mr S♥
You are so damn horrible & I still like to fight with you.

Flight of the Bumblebee,

If I hit rewind, here's how the tape rolls:
Leaves house hoping to be spared a single drop of perspiration. Ensures I'm smelling nice. Wakes up still lethargic, annoyed with unruly hair. Hits the sack with thoughts wreaking havoc, water intake hitting only 70% of target requirement(Talk about the humdrum of life when I'm actually goal setting for something like this). 2Hour insomnia. A 5minute urge to watch the L Word. Oxidized apples. A tiff. A phonecall. A disagreement. A shower that failed to satiate. More carrots and potatoes. $16.10 off my card since West still hasn't hooked up with East. A small pep-talk in hopes of further beefing up as well as to mock and taunt my insecurities. A Hot&Spicy $3.00 bag. Carrots and potatoes. Your soft hair. A warm nap. A want and a wall in between. A cool(mild, or so it reads)shower. Cat. Cat. 9 stops. Helped a fellow citizen(Moron is his middle name) in need. Audiohouse,$1289/$1298? A lesson on independence. 9stops. 10% discounts off lunch. 27. 161. Sleep-inducing Geography lecture in a theatre reeking of perspiration(yeah I fell asleep till my face was threatened to be boxed). Ran my lungs out, till a stitch made itself comfortable in my right. Small walks/talks with the Best Best. An 80% pathetic Teacher's Day celebration(Happy Teacher's Day, but this IS the 5th student council for you). Fatty Pork pointed out early at 07:47am. $4.80 Cabfare. Another weary train journey. Woke up grouchy cos' I was kicked in the ass.

Didn't expect the usual Mundane Monday would wind up with me having so much to type. Of course, what I didn't include was the Highlight of the Day:
Champion at his best.

I can predict my days, yet they are capricious with a mind of their own. They work hand in hand with my erratic moods cos there's seldom anything I see eye to eye with. Heart to heart talks are slowly becoming my cup of tea, Not. Anymore, at least.

Fall in our garden economy.